April was the first full month of stay at home orders. Although I was self-isolating before, I was seeing increasingly the full impact of this pandemic. I wrote about self-isolating in my post: Self-Isolation in solidarity, we are stronger together. At the time that I wrote that post, the questions that I saw people asking were: is this pandemic really that bad? Over the past month, the answer is an unequivocal, yes. Places where there was loose or even no social isolating policies, infection rates were high. Now questions, at least in the US, seem to be around freedom. The freedom to do what we want versus our responsibility towards others. I’m not sure what I think about this, given my circumstances of having an immune disorder that leaves me particularly vulnerable to infection and having a severe response.
I can tell you how I feel. I feel even more scared. I feel distrustful of others, which is something I don’t like being. I don’t know how careful others are, which means I must be even more careful. Some may argue that others shouldn’t be inconvenienced for my sake. I agree. But that doesn’t make it less scary for me. I don’t see the Coronavirus as something that can make me sick. I see it as something that can kill me. That reality has sunk in even more for me. So how have I been coping? Some days not very well. Other days, I’m okay. The people in my immediate circle have been incredibly careful and supportive. For that I am grateful. Gratitude is a great analgesic to fear I am finding. So is work.
April has also been the month where a project that I put on the back burner got placed on the front burner. Separating my marketing self from my writing self. I wrote about this in Embracing change: announcement about this blog. I was involved with some projects where my expertise in marketing was not apparent and needed to be. I had known that I needed to separate the two activities, because the branding was becoming muddled, but it really came to a head this month. So, I had to drop a bunch of projects to switch gears and quickly get things going to start my new brand. I had to file a doing business as, set up a website, set up the mailing list, etc. It’s been a lot of work and a lot of time. Time that I had planned to use to resurrect a writing project from 20-25 years ago. It’s been worth it though. The writing project isn’t going anywhere, and I finally got something done that I had been putting off. That always feels good.
I’ve still been working on the resurrecting my Lazarus project, not the real name of course. I wrote about this in Unearthing an old project for Camp NaNoWriMo. Since I’m reworking the backstory to this sci-fi series, I’m finding that although I did do a lot of work on it that I still have a lot more work to do. I have a better understanding of world building than I did decades ago. I’m also a different person than I was. I still have the questions that I did so many years ago that inspired the exploration of those questions in the trilogy, but my thought process has changed over those decades. My perspective. My worldview has become more nuanced. Consequently, how I’m going to answer those questions is going to be much different. The world is also going to have a slightly darker feel, because of my change in perspective. I was naïve in my idealism when I was in my 20s. My idealism hasn’t changed that much. I still would love to see a world of peace and harmony, but my naiveite has been tempered over the years. I do want to jump back into that world though, and despite my furious efforts separating my brands, I still worked on the world building. I won’t reach my goal, but at least, I kept working on it.
This brings me to my plans for May. I have a new client for my marketing business. Me. I’ve finally decided to make myself a priority in that arena. I don’t know why I haven’t made myself a priority for it until now. I may write about it. We shall see. But in the month of May, I’m going to be searching for a balance between my fiction writing and my marketing business, while at the same time taking my own advice in marketing to organize and formalize my content creation systems. So, I’ll be working on my marketing efforts, which will be challenging because by making myself a client, I’ve really gained two more clients.
One of the marketing tactics that I use is community building, which is something that I’ve been doing a lot of for yet another hat I wear: founder and leader of the World Indie Warriors. Right now, we are moving towards being able to file for nonprofit status in the late summer or fall. The purpose of the community is to help expand the stage of diverse voices by supporting indie creatives. Inclusion and diversity is a social justice issue that I feel very passionately about. This is a passion project that I’m trying to set up to be sustainable. I want to see diverse voices shine.
My month of May looks to be a very busy one, but one where I hope that I can find a sense of balance. I don’t want to be sped-up in the pursuit of getting things done. I like trying to keep a more mindful approach to my life. I don’t often live up to that ideal, but it’s an ideal that I do have.
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